So much can happen over a couple of months. Things end, things carry on, things change. You find yourself experiencing things you never have done before, or not done in a while. You can perform in front of a billion people, you can gain close friends. You’re in your first relationship. Your priorities change. You find that your life has gone into fast forward, and as much as it stresses you out – having less money as you’re unable to work as much, sacrifice seeing friends because you just don’t have the time – you love it. You have a gameplan. It’s only for a few months and has an end date, but it’s a plan. And you’re happy following it. You don’t have to think of the bigger picture, simply because you don’t have the time. You’re aware your game plan will change, along with your priorities (again) and you’ll perhaps create draft plans in your head, even discuss them. But you’re not really thinking about it practically – not now.
Before long the show is over (quite literally) and you have to rethink your plans again until the next big thing. Change your priorities. Think of another game plan. Obstacles may come your way, you’ll be put in situations which may lead you to questioning what your own perception is of right and wrong. After all, people can reassure you/contradict you, give their opinion that you may agree/disagree with but YOUR perception is what matters. But what if you realize you don’t know it? You find you’re questioning yourself again. We are all given obstacles, nothing is ever easy, blah blah blah, and sometimes you need to forget the big issues in order to sort the little ones. It may not be right to you, or to other people, but you go with it anyway. But what if the plan you’re making, well, trying to make, isn’t what you want? What do you want? What does anyone want? Happiness? Money? A loving relatonship? Lifelong friends? What if you lose faith in yourself of following through you’re own gameplan and need someone, just someone who you look up to, to guide you, to reassure you that no matter how bad things get, or whatever your choices, everything is going to be okay. You may be an adult.. 22, 44, 53.. but I think sometimes we all need that reassurance – when our own just isn’t enough.
But who do you turn to, to get this? Parents? Friends? Boy/girlfriend? Some people just don’t realize just how much you need them. That feeling you need of knowing that they are behind you, that you are their one priority – no matter what.
I guess life just is a series of gameplans. One after the other. But what if this gets tiring, even exhausting? You long for some stability – not for forever but for now. The foreseeable future. And you can see it happening, if you really think about it – you just need to get there and hope it will be enough. Then gameplans can change, and you find yourself missing the old ones – your old life. When things seemed simpler. Even though they most probably weren’t at the time..
Some things though never change. The people you look up to will never cease to baffle you with their behaviour, warp your own perception on certain situations. Mess with your morals. It’s up to us to find the people that we can look up to, and care about, make us feel ourselves – even feel at home. And hold on to them for as long as possible. Literally. And have faith that everything will fall into place. Which it will, sooner or later. Until the next gameplan that is.